Grateful Dad #34: Simple Dreams
I’m a man of simple dreams. At times, I do get angry at myself for not dreaming too big or too high. I’ve often heard people say in the past that you should dream a lofty dream because even if you don’t achieve it, then you’ve at least gone far in your quest to reach that goal. Well, I’m not in any way like that. I’ve always had modest dreams and as I got mature, I’ve learned to accept and be at peace with that.
Grateful Dad #34: Simple Dreams
I remember a conversation I had with a former colleague who was also a blogger and dad. We were talking and laughing about the fact that at our age, we were still junior officers unlike our contemporaries and even younger coworkers who were already leaders and senior officers. As for us, we were already happy to be able to provide for our family and contented in keeping our blogs well-maintained.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a little down again. A new job on top of my current responsibilities is really tiring me down. Sometimes, I do ask myself if I’m not grateful enough for it. Of course, I’m thankful for it but I’m just being realistic. The fact is, I’m exerting a lot of effort just to be able to catch up with the workload. It’s not even over the top if you talk about the volume of work but I’m working sluggishly because of the struggle in navigating a new world. At times, I have to work through the night just to be able to finish some at work.
I’m not the youthful individual who’s always up for new challenges anymore. Maturity has somehow taught me to settle for familiarity and stability even if the rewards are not that high. I guess it’s part of a father’s instinct; that’s being not too risky anymore for fear that it might cost me more. Again, when things like this cross my mind, I take comfort in my simple dreams. It just somehow calms my mind when I think about the things that I wanted to achieve.
What are those simple dreams you might ask? Honestly, there’s no constant list in my head but here are some of the immediate things that I can think of right now:
A familiar workplace where I can thrive.
I hope to hear Miguel talk soon.
I hope to take Rafa outside regularly to play and explore.
I wish to finally buy a home for my family.
Put up a small business that would give us freedom from the stress of working in an office.
Provide good education for my kids.
Writing them down also helps a lot in dealing with the pressures that I’m feeling. I do try to talk about them to people I trust but I also tell them that I’m not sure if I’m able to accurately convey what I was really feeling.
Sometimes, I do feel that I get misunderstood so I get a variety of reactions but they don’t connect well with what I wanted to communicate. It’s during these times that I just write about them but the feeling of being anxious doesn’t totally go away.
It’s tiring, at the very least, but I have to force myself to move forward, all for my simple dreams.
Also read: Grateful Dad #16.24: Meeting Halfway