Loving Without Hesitation
My second son is neurotypical. He is hitting his developmental milestones like any other boy his age. There are times though when I do wonder when he grows up and realizes it, how it will be like for him to have an older brother with special needs. I do hope that he grows up to be a very supportive brother.
Loving Without Hesitation
One who will be at his older brother’s side to comfort him or play with him. I dream of seeing them like the typical brothers who are close to each other. On the other hand, I do hope that he doesn’t feel like we might be giving more attention to his big brother.
For some people, special needs parents might seem like they pour their attention only on their special needs child. While it might be true in the sense that we indeed have to give a lot of our time to our son with GDD, it doesn’t mean that we don’t spend time with our younger son.
In fact, from the very first day that we knew that we were having another baby, Mommy Khris and I made a resolve that we would never let our younger son feel left out. By that time, we already suspected that our eldest son might be within the autism spectrum and we were already bracing ourselves for the hard work that await us.
Having read a lot about autism, I knew that it manifests differently in kids, hence, parents and caregivers can’t really tell what to expect. There may be meltdowns, sleepless nights, and challenges when it comes to food.
Brothers
I told myself that we were up to the challenge. But the truth is, I was also a little scared when I knew that we were having a second baby. Scared because I know that two small children would demand attention and I was afraid of not being able to give equal attention to both of them. I wanted our son to feel safe with us and that he fits perfectly well in our lives.
Anyway, since we really can’t predict what’s to happen next, I just told myself to take it one step at a time.
When my second son was born, I prayed hard that he would be neurotypical, especially because we were told by the doctor there is a greater chance of developmental delays in younger children if an older child has that.
My second son liked his mother more than me. I’m not sure if it was because we had to sleep in a separate room for more than seven days when he was about two weeks old because our older son had a cough. He might not have been used to my presence because of that.
Now that he is a toddler, his mom is still his most favorite person in the world but I’m proud to say that I come second place. I have no problem with that at all especially since we’ve come a long way from the time when he would cry incessantly when I held him. I just have to exert more effort to be closer to him and it paid off.
The only way for a child to not feel left out in a family is to shower them with the same amount of love and attention and that’s what we do to our second son. He is a happy and contented child. He is as playful as any other toddler. I do hope that he remains the happy and loving boy when he grows up. Someone who is supportive of his older brother.
You know how children change when they grow up. They create their own world and sometimes they’d think that the people outside that personal bubble. Change is inevitable and we have no control over that but I just hope that my second son develops to be a gentleman. The same goes for our first son. I hope he also grows up to be kind and the person that he wants to be.
Whatever happens, we will love them both with no hesitation.